I lay in bed at 1 am, I was so ready to get some sleep after feeling rough for most of the day, but it seemed that God had other plans for me…………..
I started to think about the loss of our little baby, the tears started to flow. Of course, I still grieve, and it’s usually at the most unexpected of times. However, this time I am stronger, this time I am able to immediately reach out for comfort from the Lord. This morning I was reading Job, and as I write this I remembered reading the verse that was written during his first test (v 21);
Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away,
may the name of the Lord be praised.’
After all Job suffered up until this point, he still praised our saviour.
The Lord does give and he does take away, and this is all under his control and something that we can’t always understand. Being human, there are times when we will find it difficult to come to terms with our suffering. We want answers to questions that we may never receive. The more I learn from the bible and my own experiences about the suffering we go through, the more my eyes are opened to understanding. We are God’s children, we are not fully in control of situations that arise and until we ‘let go’ of this fact, and put all our trust in the Lord and see that he is our Mighty God we will continue to miss out on the peace that we can have from knowing that he is always working for good in our lives.
Tonight I can’t stop thinking about suffering. To some that may seem ‘unhealthy’. Thinking about suffering at, now 1.30am. It’s just another way God is speaking to me, and it wouldn’t be the first time that it’s happened in the early hours of the morning.
My mind is whirling around and around, the reasons why we suffer, how we all suffer differently, how God knows us so perfectly well that if we allow him to, he will take hold of our hand and walk us through the suffering in the way he knows is best for us. The fact the he knows the number of hairs on our head! (Luke 12:7) How we deal with suffering in different ways. What some people pray about during times of trial compared to others. How can we pray differently to gain new understanding for our suffering?
This morning I prayed for God to help me to understand more clearly how Jesus suffered on the cross. I prayed to really understand it in a way that I never have before. Ok, so I know I will never truly understand the full extent of his suffering, the suffering our saviour went through for us! God giving his only son to die for us on the cross so that we may have all of our sins forgiven.
What came from this prayer was God’s love. What other love can be compared to this? God is love (1 John 4:16). We have been blessed and given another chance, blessed with God’s love, and because of his perfect plan and our saviour’s suffering, we can have forgiveness, joy and love in our lives that allows us to live with freedom. I believe that our suffering is another way of us drawing closer to God and growing in our faith, but also to share and understand in a more ‘real’ way the suffering our saviour went through. We too should be implementing love in our lives during all circumstances and trusting in the Lord with all our heart (Proverbs 3:5). Praise our Lord for teaching us through suffering in the same way Job praised him. The bible has the answers to our comfort during suffering and tells us how we can live according to God’s word and be a ‘new creation’. The Holy Spirit draws us near to God and fills us with the fruits of the spirit. Jesus’ crucifixion tells us of God’s unconditional love.
‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness’ (Jeremiah 31:3)